• Submitted on time! Feb 4, 2024
Meteor Shower at the Motel

Woof i really got this in at 8:59pm on submission day.

I realllly labored with this song. I dunno what it was but it really just did not want to come out. I think I got a little stuck in the weeds trying to write to fit the mood I perceived for the prompt — maybe the setting felt a little too specific for me. In any case, I loved the reminder to go and experience the night time as part of the process.

I finally had a bit of a breakthrough on Friday. I had scrapped a big twinkly intro section that dealt more with the motel and meteor shower, so there’s only a few subtle lines left in there that are actually referring to the scenery (I’m checking in, you’re checking out// Lying on the ground, watching the stars as they’re coming down).

The cascading melody (if I understood it correctly) is the last melodic tag at the end.



You said something that made me feel weird
I sat and I waited for a while,
Trying to think of a way to tell you
It’s all right, it’s all wrong, you see?

You think that I’m having a moment,
I’ll show you the box that you’ve opened
Take a look – it’s all the same if you
Choose to give me all of the blame
But it’s all wrong, it’s all right with me

I don’t know what you want from me,
Telling me how you want me to be
And if I fight it then it all comes tumbling

I’m checking in and you’re checking out
Starting to see what it’s all about
We could just make up and all just laugh about it

Last night I sent you a letter,
Hoping to make everything better
But I know, nothing ever gets through to you
When you know that you have the whole truth

Feeling my back against the wall,
Better to spill than not speak at all
What if we make up and all just laugh about it?
And if I’m laying on the ground,
Watching the stars as they’re coming down
Will the neighbors yell or all just laugh about it?
Come tumbling?

I try to always be honest,
Speaking from the heart when I have the chance
But that just keeps on losing me people that
I’m trying to break through to, you see?

But it’s all what you make of the scene

Looking for feedback on

Lemme hear it. Really didn't have any time to mix, so not that. What direction should this song go?


EliasSZ February 14, 2024 10:43am

Love the use of choral parts to flesh out the arrangement – really conjures a vibe for me. I’d be curious about leaning heavier into it; could see some like vocal cluster chords like a Grizzly Bear-Yellow House-esque thing.

There are definitely some McCartney-esque chords in here – made me want some like upbeat bass part moving around with the chords, maybe even with a tight lil’ drum track beneath it too. In general, about halfway through I thought it would be really satisfying for a full band to come in and start filling out the sound.

Ryan February 7, 2024 3:18pm

Sometimes they don’t come easy! I do think there’s a lot of strong material here, though. Others have weighed in on the lyrics pretty well, so I’ll stick to musical development — I think the major thing that I’m craving is some additional voices. Maybe some synths or some big drawn out guitar strums to juxtapose the jangly upbeat stuff. Could open things up vibe-wise and lead to other realizations, as well.

nurphgun February 6, 2024 10:43pm

Thanks for sharing your process here – with that background knowledge, I am hearing that maybe this tune hasn’t found what it wants to be yet. Maybe you could find a way to bring the motel setting and the meteor shower back to the fore. For me, the lyrics are focused only on the interpersonal conflict, and not enough on the setting or the details that I think would actually raise the stakes of the conflict and make it more salient. Maybe less exposition about how the conflict unfolded (“you said something that made me feel weird, I sat and waited for awhile trying to think of a way to tell you”) and more emphasis on the feelings (“you think that I’m having a moment, I’ll show you the box you’ve opened” – great line by the way).

I do love the last verse – “I try to always be honest, Speaking from the heart when I have the chance, But that just keeps on losing me people that, I’m trying to break through to, you see? But it’s all what you make of the scene” – such a specific feeling, and I like the ambiguity of the last line.

Ben February 6, 2024 5:08pm

“you knowwwwwww” love that.

Hey man, happy to be listening to your music again. Love this. I could hear a full band playing this. I wonder what it would sound like without some of the reverb/effects.

maybe the only unnecessary part is 1:29-1:34. it follows a great guitar line, and leads to a satisfying chorus. What if you just dropped into the chorus right from that cool double tracked guitar line?

i also really love the guitar lines toward the end. Really well done. Hope I get hear this song in whatever incarnations it may exist in for years.

Ben February 5, 2024 6:46pm

Agree with the below comments—fanTASTIC mix, and would love to hear the rest of the band kick in. Funny that Nick mentioned Ob-la-di, as I was thinking this has some McCartney-esque chord changes that are complicated but also just feel right.

Would love to know what your recording setup is like. Also, did you multitrack the acoustic guitars and pan one to each ear? Because that sounds super good.

nick February 5, 2024 12:09pm

yeah great writing, alec! love the idea of an initial idea (motels meteors etc.) that eventually is removed leaving a few orphans from that concept. the mix is nice. your vocal and guitar recording process is working. the guitars are soft and just the right amount of mid level thumpiness, and a nice amount of presence. dude some of those higher notes in the background vox make me want to hear a track where you push your limits of your upper chest voice. maybe in some sort of choir/acapella track. sick track.

agasthya February 5, 2024 11:04am

2:28-end is really really great. Although I like the arrangement as it is, I would LOVE to hear that with a full band, driving beat, Fleetwood Mac style production (same with the part from 1:37-2:09). I like the main melody (“you said something that made me”). would be fun to keep those parts acoustic (and maybe a bit drier in general?) and then contrast with a full production for those other parts.

all that said, I really do enjoy the production as is! very dreamy.

nick February 5, 2024 12:10pm

totally agree with this. id love to hear a sort of upbeat driving drum track. something like ob-la-di-ob-la-da. could take the moodier chorus into an interesting place.