Little Rock

I love the barren feeling of those opening lines, particularly: “Nothing hits | It never does | Oh earth“.

I don’t think you need another “So close, can feel it now”, but I’m often on the side of a song can be short as it wants, if it feels good that short. I think it could be nice longer too, but didn’t feel like it needed it to me. The repetition of “Oh Earth” really works for me throughout the song, as a side note.

This is beautiful!! I love the repetition of “Oh Earth”, which gives a more indirect sentiment of this meteorite yearning to each earth’s surface, compared to the more direct statements of this you have in your very efficient lyrics! But this feeling is so evocative to me, it reminds me of all of our own little worlds and all of our intense strivings. Really lovely piece.

I try to remind myself that song form can be whatever you want it to be–as you experiment more with standard forms, feel free to use them only as they serve the art. Creating something more free-form as a vessel for your poetry feels just as valid to me. Thanks for this!

“The Brimming Skies”

Well done with this. It so concise in multiple ways: 76 seconds long, 3 (?) tracks, 2-3 words per line, yet it makes me feel deeply connected to a chunk of space dust hurling through our atmosphere. In the pasy 48 hours, i’ve been thinking about a comment @@nick left on @@nurphgun‘s latest song about word economy and cutting out the extra unneeded words. and there are none of those here to cut out. This is really well done.

Could be cool with a simple shaker coming in on the “down below” line. And if it were ever to become a bigger or longer arrangement, i’d love to hear the guitar melody come back in at some point, and play over the lyrics.

I love this @@zoya. Beautiful lyrics and expressively performed, you really have a well-defined sound and vibe going already with your singing and songwriting. I love “screen door slams/truck backs up” – so cool to bring the lyrics back down to earth (~literally~) when they’ve been in outer space for the first half of the tune.

Do you know the song Big Dipper by Cracker? One of my faves – it reminds me of this. Not just because of celestial subject matter, but vocal delivery, too.

this is a delightful little tearjerker. “nothing hits, it never does” fav lyric, and very well sung. i also love how many of the phrases have a spoken rhythmic quality, but then “it won’t give up” has a little hop to it and jumps on the beat. i wouldnt mind repeating the last line once more at the end. in a larger arrangement i could imagine “so close, I can feel it now” kind of weaving throughout the song, but in this little package, saving it for the end ties up the composition very nicely. you’ve got a great voice! count me in as an avid observer of your songwriting journey.