You were worried the cliffs would kill me. “I promise I won’t go in the cave.”
Saw fear in your eyes and left you with your cell phone to manage our escape.
Looked down at my first sea urchin, and I wondered about your word for it.
I figured it’s just a hedgehog who lives on the ocean’s jagged edge.
A stone with your first initial. You’d told me why not to take the stones.
Thought maybe this one was special enough to mean, “Sorry for leaving you alone.”
I tilted my head and took in L’aiguille d’Étretat, all yellow and red in the day’s end,
the sweetness all gone without you. I told you just ten minutes.
I didn’t account for walking back. Ran over reflected sunset
and you calling to me to please not run.
I should have said I was sorry, walked with you, and shut my baby face.
But I wanted your smile back so bad, I said
“ich habe einen Seeigel gesehen”
Looking for feedback on
ryan May 1, 2020 11:10am
Glad you went back and did the first assignment, man! First off—beautiful melody. And I love the way the trumpet functions as the chord-outlining voice. To answer your questions, I love when other languages show up in songs. Do you know Troubled by Land of Talk? That’s the example that comes to mind—I adore that song. I think the way you used other languages in this piece makes complete sense to me. Re: lyrics—listening to the song and taking in the lyrics the best I could upon first hearing, I enjoyed the story quite a bit, but had a different interpretation. After reading the lyrics and your questions, then listening again, I think that it was inevitable that the ‘asshole’ quality was overshadowed by how beautiful/romantic the music is. It’s a great lyric sheet, but if you wanted to assure the honesty that you’re after (which I do think is a worthy goal), taking the opportunity to have a pretty stark moment of self-reflection may have accomplished that. “I should’ve said sorry and shut my baby face” nearly does it—maybe it’s about finding a way to highlight that lyric before the last line, which spins it make towards ultimately being a romantic story. Or swapping their position. Sort of depends on your moral priority in the piece. Great work, Sam.
Sam Pearce May 1, 2020 10:40pm
Hey Ryan, thanks for taking a listen. I almost texted this song to you today but then figured you would have to get a chance to hear it at a time that worked for you. I’m excited about it because it’s the first song of the three I’ve made for NCBC so far that I know I would not have been able to make if not for the parameters. And I appreciate your thoughtful response to my questions. What you’re saying makes complete sense to me. I guess the most interesting and true story is that I was being an asshole and also affectionate, but in a way that was not warranted or wanted in the situation. I think I’m going to revisit this song, maybe on my next collection of songs, and I think by then I’ll have the temporal “space” in which to spot lyrics that are false. I’m also thinking about sharing it with the person I’m singing to, because I want to, but also because I think her perspective is more reliable and critical than mine when it comes to the truth of the lyrics. I’m going to listen to that song you suggested now.