Cutting it a bit close with the submission. Don’t mind the underwhelming synth solo…
Gorgeous. OK Computer vibes. 🙂 Your chorus palindrome melody reminds me of a melody I ended up incorporating in my song.
thank you nora <3 <3
also, i love bass line and sound. is that live or programmed?
Yo this is a *really* great chord progression and melody. Love when the chorus comes in. Very cinematic, seems likes its moving and swirling and spiraling around. I’m also a sucker for these piano chord quarter notes throughout the whole things.
Also what you got against your synth solo?
thanks dude! i guess i just finished the song so close to the deadline that after the first listen the solo felt out of place but i didn’t have time to revisit it haha. it’s grown on me a bit since then 🙂
Hey Alec! My name’s Sam. Still listening now. I like the escalation on the choruses. I think it’s just enough added intensity, with the hi hat and the louder dynamic, expanding the song but keeping the link to the verses seamless. I think it’s cool that the synth solo is in a middle-low register, as opposed to flying above the piano. Rather than being explosive, it builds potential energy that’s released on the last chorus. My favorite couplet is the one about splinters. It’s unsettling and mysterious, to me, as a listener who doesn’t know the whole story. Song just ended and that last vocal phrase, on “eyes”, is exquisite!
Lot of great things going on here. Synth solo is certainly one of them. And yeah, your voice sounds great. I like to experiment with finding small personal details to include in dramatic songs like this. Little moments of localization can end up enriching the overall drama.
And I know this isn’t quite songwriting, but for me, if you could nudge the melodic/chordal elements back in time a little bit so the drums are on the front end of the rhythm, the groove would really set in and let those melodies sing on stop. Really slight edit, like microseconds, for a pretty large reward.
thats pretty timeless advice, and ends up happening a lot for me. Something wont be sitting well in my song (or a section of a song) so I literally just nudge the drum tracks forward or back a bit, and magically it sits better. And I’ve been surprised that sometimes it’s really as easy and blunt as moving the whole damn thing forward or back. If i recall correctly, nick, you did this for a koah song or two that we were tracking in the berkshires and it instantly glued things together.
Word! Could you elaborate on what you mean by small personal details? Do you mean lyrics-wise?
Yup—I mean looking for moments in the lyrics where you could try swapping out something more general for something more personal, to create a balance of the two. This really is nicely written, and paints an expressive picture. I just think an additional bit of your perspective from ground level could be a nice touch.
This rocks! The chorus is satisfying on so many levels, never mind that it’s also a great palindromic melody. Whole song flows beautifully from section to section
thank you <3
i like the synth solo as well, i really like how it pairs with the jazzier chords and vocalizations. your voice is great too
I liked the synth solo! very understated, nice contrast with the chorus.
thanks agasthya! it’s grown on me a bit since i submitted this 🙂
Climbing up a ladder you’ve been down before
Little bit unsteady, little bit unsure
A palindrome of patterns in the sky
As fire reignites behind your eye
Splinters tracing down your hands
You tear at them but they just grow right back again
You finally see a vision to the top
You hold on to the feeling in the hopes it never stops
Splitting to the surface
Spinning like a rotor
Take you by the throat, honey
Panic taking over
Wash away yourself
In the passing of the water
Pour another drink
For your mother and your father
You feel at ease knowing you’ve been here before
You don’t know when or how, but it’s getting harder to ignore
And if you’ve made it through 100x or more
The journey can’t have killed you, no matter what’s in store