The Meteor Motel

wowza, really beautiful composition and lyricism. and thank you for that lil anecdote about how you (and mitski) approached this song with melody and lyrics first and then chords. i’m going to try that next time, i think that will help free up my melody writing.

i’ve really struggled to find cuts/edits here, but after like 5 listens i think the only thing that comes to mind is maybe find a way to end the piece after the (rightfully lauded in other comments) silver spoon & never blink again sections. I think you don’t need the chorus afterwards, that is such a special moment on its own.

“I can’t say when it’s happening, but once it does you swear you’ll never blink again”

Boom, mic drop. Such a powerful line to end the tune imo. Almost teasing the audience to stop this song, and look to the skies so you don’t miss the meteor shower.

awesome tune

Love the cut out of that first chorus. This tune is just such a pleasant experience. The way the arrangement swells into fleshed out sections always feels so rewarding.

If I had to say anything, I feel like I need a little bit more growth towards the end in that last chorus – someone mentioned horns, I could even just see a larger vocal arrangement swelling up. Great tune!

Hell yeah, Ry! This feels at first tongue-in-cheek, but behind that is truly an all-around beautiful piece.

I love the little chromatic twiddles in the guitar interlude solo melody that give this a more Western feel.

I’m terms of arrangement, because I’m a silly, exuberant guitarist, I’d wonder about grabbing a slide and a delay pedal and using those to create the sound painting of the meteor shower happening. And I’m definitely feeling the entrance of a horn section towards the end that mirrors the choral vocal melody and gives a real powerful uplift at the end. Inspiring job!

Friggin yes to starting with a chorus

Friggin yes to a lovely live arrangement that I’d love to play on someday

Friggin yes to SPACE imagery.

Friggin NO to the fact that we still haven’t watched Interstellar together. When that happens, let’s throw this puppy on while we’re cooking popcorn before the movie.

Congrats on another beaut!

Lovely. Like @@bogfoxmy favorite part is “light on a string/cow on the moon/your face lit up like all the silver in a spoon” – what a special line. I’m not envisioning tattoos though, more like a childrens’ bedtime book illustrated in really cozy, comforting pastels. On that note, this is so lovely, and I think tightening it up is actually a great idea, because I’m really feeling it more as a lullaby rather than a ballad. It’s comforting & sweet, but it also takes you on a journey and immerses you in somewhere that’s clearly not your bedroom, which is the best way to fall asleep. It reminds me of Goodnight Moon and Headspace’s “sleep stories”, and there is a nice dose of childlike wonder in there. Would you ever consider making a short version that’s only the second “if you’re crying tired” to the end? I think that would be such a sweet lullaby.

The Light on a string / Cow on the moon / Your face lit up like all the silver in a spoon moment has been stuck in my head for days now. Good god i don’t have any tattoos and really didn’t plan on starting with sentimental cursive lyrics, but those lines make me want to throw that thought right in the garbage.

Hope this finds its way alongside a few other likeminded songs. I really love this side of you.

Calm, welcoming vibe to this song. Definitely works well as an advert for a motel as well as a track that occasionally graces the speakers of the motel bar. Really nicely done, you’re always great at setting a mood with your songs

This is why we come to you for lyrical advice. You are truly a poet and it shows up so well in your music. I agree with Benny- there is a confidence in your writing that really comes through in this track. In terms of tightening it up I don’t see any tightening needed here. I think that if anything I would love to hear your vocal more upfront and dryer. Because the lyrics are so intimate- It makes me wonder if your vocal was a little less behind the sonic wall of your instruments. Just a thought !

Love!! Was adding my own harmonies within the first 30 seconds. This has got some Billy Bragg/Wilco vibes and I’m all about it. If you ever want some live backup vocs when you take this one on tour, I know a gal 🙂

Funny that you say this sprung up fully formed in your head, because it feels like it’s always lived in mine!

fun. friggin fun. “Your face lit up like all the silver in a spoon.” get outta here, that’s great. the melody on “or you’re broken down” is written and sung deliciously. and yeah i dig the whole thing. only thoughts are around the … oh wait also that knock on the door is hilarious. ok where was i—thoughts about the solo section. for one, I think the first one shouldn’t lose so much momentum by removing the drum elements/volume. let’s keep this thing cookin! maybe ride? more tambo? i do like the idea of the second solo having the drums drop out, though. and then i’d like to hear a change in the section first heard at 2:07-2:13. first thought was doing something with the solo, but i may just want a little more tension or progression with the chords. it just seems to get the slightest bit flat there for me with the quick return to the root chord. ok, well done cowboy.

There’s something so confident about this song—it knows exactly what it is and what it needs to be. The lyrics made me think of Wes Anderson’s Asteroid City. And like a Wes Anderson scene, everything just clicks into place with this and feels ‘right.’ But also, there’s enough to keep you interested. The chord on “highway” at 1:37 is unexpected and makes you lean into it. And those accidentals in the solo—excellent.

Jesus and the aliens.

Hey man, I love this. I think you’ve ordinary yourself once again. I seriously might have a new fav! Nice soloing over some very nice chords.

Here’s to ncbc work travels.

I feel like I have a similar chord in my song this week. Wondering if you know which!

More from me later when I’m on my desktop computer!