meteor lands alone
Feb 4, 2024
troods
Meteor Shower at the Motel
I haven’t written a song in 10 years, or picked up a guitar in almost as long. I knew it would be hard to get out of my own way in making some music, so I added 2 additional parameters to this prompt:
-I had to write this song as quickly as I could, and
-I wasn’t allowed to edit it, at all
This proved difficult at the end of the creation process, but while writing it made things a lot easier. I don’t think I realized how much I stop myself midprocess, editing as I go – which really hinders me.
I wasn’t sure I would submit this, but I’ve really been trying to be more vulnerable in my artistic process, all around. I think it was easier for me to do that with music than visual art, since I have no expectation that music I write be any good – but now I feel like I have some practice, it felt good and I want to try it again.
ps –
Why did the man pour ground beef on his head?
Because he wanted a meteor shower looool
LYRICS –
It’s not as dark as it once was when I was younger
The sky is sickly, green and pink, horizon glowing
And I’ve shown up with nothing special, just a hunger
To make a noise, to make a move, with no one knowing
And I always thought that I would see the day
When I saw my life before me in a line
But I’ve never been able to walk straight
So it makes sense the sky is falling, but it’s fine
And I tell the clerk that this room is just for me
And the things I won’t let myself believe
Or a momentary lapse into the gloaming
Or a meteor that lands with no one knowing
Looking for feedback on
Not expecting any feedback, really, but it's all welcome.
Discussion
EliasSZ February 14, 2024 11:24am
I’m pretty impressed that you added more parameters that made the process even harder – having to do it super fast? Not editing? And it still came out a tight, strong song. That second verse is great – a great use of the parameter of the meteor shower to very naturally mirror that pretty universal life experience of realizing there is no defined path ahead.
nurphgun February 6, 2024 9:34pm
You have such a beautiful vocal range, and I like that you used it all in this tune – gorgeous high vibrato AND low vibrato, and you can hop around the staff seemingly effortlessly.
I love your additional parameters. I take a similar attitude with the submissions these days – in an ideal world I’d be challenging myself with something complex, but, different seasons of life, etc. – sometimes the most important thing is just to finish something & put it out there.
I really like the uncertain feeling the last chord gives – I’m glad you didn’t end it back on the one chord – works perfectly with the lyric.
Ben February 6, 2024 4:34pm
great, functional extra params. i should try those sometimes.
Well done! Glad to see you here!
Excellent use of “the gloaming.” i only know that word in a radiohead context, so it’s nice to see it out in the world.
My two fav lines are the first and last. The “not as dark” hits hard for some reason. Literally darkness definitely feels different as an adult, although… things and ideas for sure seem darker as an adult.
And the meteor landing without anyone feels profound, somehow both a little scary, and very sad for some reason.
This is so great. Hope to hear more music from you throughout this NCBC sesh.
nurphgun February 6, 2024 9:27pm
I don’t think I knew that “gloaming” was a real word 😁
Ryan February 6, 2024 10:03am
This is awesome. You have one of my favorite vibratos of all time.
Nice melodies here—especially the ascension at the end of that first phrase. Super nice. And the quick descensions at the end of chorus.
Good call adding those additional parameters! Love that it got you writing. Truly can’t wait to hear more.
troods February 6, 2024 11:54am
Thank you so much, Ryan, that means a lot! It was definitely helpful to add parameters. Excited to try again and learn more about recording on my computer.
nurphgun February 6, 2024 9:28pm
I’m also a proud member of@@troods vibrato fan club
nick February 5, 2024 11:09am
trudie! 🙂
so glad to hear you. i think those additional parameters are 👌
many beautiful little vocal moves. also some beautiful big ones! those higher notes just sear through.. like a meteor, if i may. truly though, wonderful tone.
would love to read along if you would add the lyrics to the description. rock on, sister. oh wait also, that profile picture is just too much.
troods February 6, 2024 11:54am
Hi! Thank you!! It was fun to make. I will definitely add the lyrics.
stonewindow February 26, 2024 4:14pm
Love this. Your voice is lovely. Sounds like it was all one take? I really like the last chord too.
‘my favorite line and you sing it beautifully. So it makes sense the sky is falling and it’s fine.