meteorite
agasthya
Stegochorus
as usual, I spent a week on a completely different song that I just couldn’t figure out. I wouldn’t quite say I figured this one out either, but 🤷🏽♂️
anyway, this is a song by a dinosaur who somehow knows the comet is coming and is working out the ennui that you get when it feels like nothing matters since the world is ending (the dinosaur is me and the comet is climate change 🙃)
Looking for feedback on
idk something about this feels boring. not sure what I'm missing (or what I should take out??)
Discussion
EliasSZ October 8, 2023 2:36pm
I don’t think this is boring at all. Feels like you could push the arrangement a bit farther if you wanted to, but your production is killer as is in my book.
I love the hit at :30 “It’s so hard to be a kid…” and the fall off that tone, just to hit it again at :40.
Ryan September 26, 2023 1:48pm
This is awesome. I hear a lot of Return to Cookie Mountain in this and think you could push it even further in that direction. Maybe by using even more chaotic tones for that main poppy melody (1:48). Something really wiry and frenetic.
In addition to addressing the rhythmic nudging, I wonder if it’s a few clicks under the ideal tempo? Once you finish nudging, maybe play around with that. The change in arrangement at 1:05 (which I lovvvvve) feels a little under, which is why I mention it.
But yeah as soon as that aggressive verse comes in, I was like yeeeeup I like where he took this.
nick September 26, 2023 10:27am
no not boring, i think it’s charming. and im on board with all the melodic and lyrical inclusions. I think what may be contributing to the “boredom” you’re referencing is that the chunking guitar line is rhythmically ahead of the drums, and then the vocals are a little ahead of the guitar, so you end up with a feeling of the drums holding everything back instead of pushing things forward. I’d hop back in there, take a good look at the wave forms, and start by isolating the drums and guitars and just nudging that guitar until it sits ever so slightly on the back side of the drums. Then id nudge the vocals so line up with the guitar. Just a thought, but may be what you’re looking for!
Ben September 26, 2023 10:36am (edited)
welp, was literally about to comment on your song finally, after listening for a couple days, but i guess nick and i are both NCBC commenting at the same time this morning, him 4 minutes before me. Which is nice, because he put it well.
It’s absolutely not boring, and it has all the DNA of one of your pop rock songs (except that DNA is stuck in a rhythmically out-of-sync mosquito, and frozen in a chunk of rushed-guitar amber). It might actually be a simple, mechanical fix. Scoot some guitar, maybe drag some snare, insert a little frog DNA, move some vocals.
My theory is that maybe the inability for you to lock deeply into the groove when you’re listening back to it is what makes you think it’s boring (and laborious)?
It’s a compact, fun, catchy song, that fits really well into your repertoire.
agasthya September 26, 2023 12:26pm
@nick and @@Ben YES i think y’all solved it (“laborious” is exactly right, Ben). I think I’m so used to having the drums slightly behind the beat on my more dilla-inspired productions I didn’t even think to address it. gonna tweak and report back.
Ben September 26, 2023 12:36pm (edited)
yeah, when you have those 8th note palm muted chords chunking along like this, the drums can’t afford to have the dilla looseness. I use 8th note palm muted powerchord chunking a lot. Usually i start with the drums for these kinds of beats and play guitar along to it, but even then i sometimes run into little micro-awkwardnesses in the feel.
My weird approaches here, which always feel like cheating, but sometimes yield the exact rhythmic feel solution i’m looking for: i remove the highhat, or at least way lower the highhat. yours feels fairly low in the mix already. this removes opportunities for the 8th notes to clash. Then for slightly less poppy stuff, i sometimes even double or triple (triples is best) the snare voices and drag them a little on either side of the beat. I actually dont think either of these 2 things is right for your song (i think you actually have to just get it perfect), but just wanted to chime in about this rhythmic problem because it’s the #1 thing i struggle with
agasthya September 26, 2023 12:50pm
everyone knows triples is best. triples makes it safe.
Ryan September 26, 2023 1:44pm
Just raising my hand here to say I agree with the well-articulated rhythm notes
alechutson September 25, 2023 12:32pm
Your production is on point as always. So easy to relate to the lyrical content – so much so that I named my band Death by Comet 💀 I like how positive sounding the chord changes and melodies are, especially contrasting with the lyrics and dirt of the production. I think you could really lean into that dissonance a bit more so that we viscerally experience this conflict of emotions with you.
“It’s so hard to be a killer when your heart isn’t in it” is a great moment, and that lyrical trade really works for me.
I think that the choruses could have more evolution in the rhythm section, or maybe an addition of a counter-melody, especially towards the end. It feels like those are the moments to really imply an oncoming disaster.
nick September 26, 2023 10:27am
“It’s so hard to be a killer when your heart isn’t in it” Yes I loved this moment too