Hold Onto Your Butts

  • Submitted on time! Sep 24, 2023

Dark, gritty, grimy, and dirty just like I imagine the Tithonian era was. This song’s lyrics pull inspiration from the Jurassic Period, as well as from the Jurassic Park Period [of my life], which we’re actually still in (The JPPBS ranges from the very very very very late upper Quaternary Period of the late Cenozoic Era to modern day).

Yeah, I know Stegosauruses aren’t in the first movie, but it’s ok. Even though there’s no Stegosaurus in the first movie (there are some pretty inconsistently-sized ones in the second movie), I still take inspo from the first movie for these lyrics. Let’s see if you can spot some examples. The song’s not about the movie at all, but Feff Goldblum and Sam Jackson and co definitely find their ways in.

I’ve been finding myself quoting or referencing JP1 literally every single day. Also, my Internet algorithm INSISTS that i engage with JP content every time i log on. My entire YouTube feed, besides Vulfpeck music videos and NBA highlights is stuff like “REAL PALEONTOLOGIST breaks down everything WRONG with the Velociraptors in Jurassic Park,” or “I recreated every T-rex scene in Jurassic Park with kittens.” So I dunno if The Internet is making me think more about JP, or if my obsession with JP is [fossil]fueling the algorithm. It’s definitely a Velociraptor Or The Egg situation though.

But yeah, I feel like JP1 is… kind of my favorite movie? Could be. What’s your fav scene?

It is pretty crazy though (and shameful, really) that the computer I made this song with is powered by dinosaur bones. Maybe that’s one of the reasons the main character is so aggressive?

prim perc: the metal wires of the paddock being snapped by the t-rex’s little arms when he escapes after Newman switched off the power. Always loved that sound. Sounds like a spring reverb sound. Every time i hear that noise (like when i drop or bump an amp that has the reverb turned up high) I think of this scene.


You never know, you never know…

When you gotta go you gotta go


I’m a big ol’ fuckin’ stegosaurus 

And I’m all complete with the horns 

And the beak

I’m a rigged-up truck, sharp mega-tortoise

And I’m all complete with the horns 

And the beak (and the beak)

I’m a big and sharp and pointy motherfucker

gonna choke when you eat me (eat me!)

At the shoreline with my baby

And I guess maybe you can meet me and try… my meat

(Hey what’s that in the sky, ya see it?)


Been around for a real long time

Up from the water; out of the slime

We dominate, with our teeth and then our bones

We move in herds (they do move in herds!) under the stones 

Everything that you know about us: limited to bones (and stones)

It all happened in a blink

“Everything WRONG with Jurassic park in 10 minutes”

I’d click that link

We’re on the brink


You Fuck around with me and you will get spiked 

And in thse movies, it’s you who’s  the bad guy

Stegosaurus movie’s one they’d’ve liked

I’ll step on, stab, or club you fuckers until you die 

Yeah yeah yeahhhh yea yeahhh


Been around for a real long time

Up from the water; out of the slime

We dominate, with our teeth and then our bones

We move in herds (they do move in herds!) under the stones 


You never know, you never know.

The fuckin bugs will get ya, and then you’ll go

(And they’re big ol fuckers)

Looking for feedback on

Wow, why is this Stegosaurus being so aggressive? Is he or she angry at T-rexes? At us? Super aggressive....


EliasSZ October 8, 2023 2:23pm

Did NOT expect those verse vocals. Love the production on those, giving me Bone Machine or Mule Variation Tom Waits, but with a bit more of a dinosaur attitude. Overall, love the use of vocal harmony and different vocal production styles throughout the tune – especially as they support some really excellent lyrics.

Not a lot to add that others haven’t already said. Love the last chorus into the guitar solo at the outro. A very satisfying ending in a less gritty/dark/aggressive zone. That alternation between definite aggression and more vibe-y grit is maybe my favorite thing.

Ryan September 26, 2023 1:33pm

haaaaaaahaha. This feels like a novel where the narrator changes without warning and you’re just helplessly along for the ride. “Why is the stegosaurus so aggressive?” Because it is—eat my shorts.

What a vibe.

Top moment for me is the delayed delivery on “meat”. Very Tom Waits. Also dig the arrangement getting smaller in the “slime” section. “Slime section” is the best I’ve got because as usual with your work, you do a great job obscuring whatever the song structure is here.

nick September 26, 2023 11:12am

Maybe it’s so aggressive because it was reincarnated as the lead singer to the B52s but was hoping for Ween? Not unlike your comment to my piece, you have an incredibly distinct style which is on full display here. Funny how that works. You’re not gonna like this, but I can almost guarantee I’ve never seen JP1 from start to finish. Yikes. As egregious as this dino is, I’m actually pretty on board with the vibe. I was gonna say to cut out some of the breathing noises in between lines, but maybe fucking not. fuck it.

You land on a really tight groove at the end (3:41) with that strummy guitar. love that. absolutely feffing love that.

Ben September 26, 2023 3:28pm

you’re right, i dont like that.

alechutson September 25, 2023 12:16pm


So much grit and sass. It’s almost like Oogie Boogie voices the Steg

Great guitar sounds. There’s a bit of Pink Floyd energy in this tune. Props for weaving the past in with the present day, it feels like we’re in Jurassic Park with you and then zooming out to see you interacting with YouTube. I love the last bit too – great button ending.

I would maybe have the intro vocals mixed further away – it feels like they could be like a little voice at the back of your head

Feff Goldblum ftw 😉

Clever girl

Ben September 26, 2023 11:04am

oh yeah, big boogie man vibes. and i totally agree with you on the intro vocals

agasthya September 24, 2023 10:27pm

AND THE BEAK! i’m gonna be yelling that all week. this rocks. snare/clap is dirty!!

Ben September 26, 2023 11:07am