Gonna try to not be totally self-deprecating here, lol. Didn’t have much time and am not totally psyched on how it came out, but whatever, trying to just be proud of myself for following through with the assignment.
For me this prompt was tough; I think I have an easier time when there is a really out-there, bizarro, weird parameter to get my wheels turning, and with this assignment, I felt I had to turn inward (to the center of the earth, so to speak). So it’s a little emo. Can’t wait to hear everyone’s submissions! <3
next time we’re there i won’t be scared
the house we played well past our age
old enough to let it go
let me be me, a me, lighthearted, finally
aching for epiphany
etching the clues in my young skin
and studying the wound like a treasure map
touring around a trick question
Looking for feedback on
nick March 8, 2023 1:15pm
was definitely hooked right off the bat, probably due to the lofi. it’s like, oh, im going to get a unrefined look into this moment, which is nice. the unnaturalness of the phrasing paired with how well you sing it makes for a pretty compelling intro. also, that little flutter on “map” is excellent.
Ben February 28, 2023 9:05am
Weirdly, some lines in this (“finally-y-y-y-y”) remind me of this very bizarre but very cool song, particularly the vocals.
nurphgun March 1, 2023 2:11pm
I see it. I listened to that song a lot in 2019 so it may have snuck its way in subconsciously!
atalinkay February 27, 2023 11:42pm
Enigmatic, captivating, badass and vulnerable. I love it Nora!
EliasSZ February 27, 2023 7:54pm
Something perfect about how just up front and honest this is. Also want to echo what Alec said – perfect for an intro or outro of an album.
Z February 27, 2023 5:29pm
This was refreshing to hear – I love listening to all NCBC submissions, I think it’s great when we have batches that are in a DAW with a fair amount of production and time out in, and the ones that are just raw.
The lyrics to this are enigmatic but there’s a lot to extract from them, it’s a short run time that makes it digestible.
Sometimes you’ve got time to play a full game of Catan, sometimes just a few hands of gin rummy, both are great.
Thanks for sharing.
lizzie February 27, 2023 5:15pm
melody is really great in my opinion! its ability to keep you guessing, but ultimately make you know you’re going to enjoy what’s just around the corner is really impressive. if you did extend it, i’d pull the vocal climb from “finally” at 0:21 back in from time to time but take different directions with it. maybe even like you’re following a treasure map!
nurphgun March 1, 2023 2:09pm
Thanks! Great advice on pulling back the vocal climb. I think my vocal delivery there (and also at the phrase “treasure map”) contain some ornamentation that I would probably save for a “final chorus” if I were to build this thing out fully.
lizzie March 1, 2023 4:02pm
if you choose to, i’ll be among the first of your listeners!
froebusiness February 27, 2023 1:57pm
I love your lyrics here, Nora. The melody also really works in its simplicity, and I particularly like when it hits the “treasure map” line. If you add more sections, I would keep highliting the disparity between the repetitive first verse melody and the second section melody to continue to make the lyrical content stand out when it shifts between the two.
nick March 8, 2023 12:31pm
alechutson February 27, 2023 12:37pm
Raw and real. You could use this as the intro / outro track to an album
agasthya February 27, 2023 8:40am
loooooooove the lofi vibe of this. would love to see it progress eventually into something fully produced after the lofi bit – I can see this as an intro to a fuller arrangement. I think the melody is great!
Sam Pearce February 26, 2023 10:03pm
Hey Nora, I relate to your reservations because I also made mine in what felt like a too-small window of time, but I think is very cool. I like how it seems to truly be “one chord”, almost like a bagpipe melody (but waaay nicer timbres). I think you build the melody nicely, in a way that uses its potential energy (from the first half) without overextending it, if that makes sense. And I like the percussion; it adds a lot.
nurphgun March 1, 2023 2:10pm
Thanks! I was banging two dog bones together
nick March 8, 2023 12:30pm
lol dog bones