Honey man

  • Submitted on time! Jun 21, 2020
kurds
Once Upon A Time

This is the first song I’ve ever written and recorded…so it is extremely rough. Thanks for the inspiration though, this was a lot of fun. Hopefully I can do more of these and improve in time. Please pardon the poor singing and off-beat playing.

The song is about Hanuman and his attempts to save Sita after she was kidnapped by the demon king, Ravana, and taken to the island of Lanka.

Instruments: sitar, maraca, tiny dhol, trumpet
Made in garageband 

_____

Honey man

This is a tale from long ago
A king of monkeys, friend of all
He rushed to end a horrid foe
And leapt the sea whilst he grew tall

His liege was kidnapped and betrayed
So he promised to make amends
Demon city but not afraid
He found Sita, alone, with no friends

She would not come but for her star
But he was found and made to burn
His tail like rope was lit and marred
He flew and Lanka was an urn

Returned to his troops, call for war
Ravan and Lanka were no more



Looking for feedback on

anything and everything

Discussion

  • 10 Comments
nurphgun July 5, 2020 4:19pm

Hey Karan! This is so cool – the vibe is incredible. The lyrics are superb. They have a beautiful rhythm to them that’s apparent on paper and that comes to life even more in the song. I think the singing is great, I would recommend finding space to take your breath at the end of a phrase instead of the middle of one (which you did fantastically except for a couple instances in the second verse). I can’t believe this is the first song you’ve written and recorded. Well done!

kurds July 19, 2020 8:49pm

🙏 Too nice of you, thank you very much! I’ll work on my breathing!

nick July 2, 2020 9:25am

so cool! and whaaat first song?! incredible. this piece does an excellent job following the assignment. feels really in the spirit of the classic sonnet nature. the texture you achieved with all the acoustic instruments is outstanding. very distinct and enjoyable on the ears. I would say, have some fun experimenting with the EQ of the vocals, and check out this video for some tips. Cheers, bud! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wG68DptZX5Q

kurds July 19, 2020 8:48pm

Oof, forgot to listen to this video before I submitted the Brain Dig…I will keep this in mind for the next one. Thanks again for the kind words.

ryan.mp3 June 22, 2020 9:50am

Great sitar and meditative percussion—the drone quality is super evocative. I actually love the lack of variation. Yeah I think trying to tighten up some of the rhythms would take this track a long way. Well done!

kurds June 24, 2020 8:44am

Thanks! I definitely need to practice with a metronome!

Ben June 21, 2020 11:45pm

KARAN, GOOD TO SEE YOU! What’s up. So glad you’re here.

Funny. This tale is all too familiar to me and I will tell you why. It’s been years since I’ve even thought about this but: I was in a production of “Rama and Sita” put on by my 6th grade drama club that, in retrospect, was probably extremely problematic, but also just terrible in general. We all co-wrote and acted in a “retelling” of the classic story and I think we also tried to add a “modern spin” on it. I played the narrator, but I also doubled as Lakshmana, or somehow combined the two or something. No idea how Ms Schulman, our drama teacher got this thing green-lit, but it was a mistake.

We “toured” this 45-minute masterpiece to the local elementary schools, and feeling like a big shot, I wandered off from backstage through the halls of the school and ran into a kid a grade below me that I knew and well what do you know, I missed my call. Then I ran back to backstage, changed into my costume and ran onstage and had no idea where we were in the script and i grabbed this large tome/book prop that the narrator (me) was supposed to read from (it had the actual script in it), but I still had no idea where we were in the play so I read the line that was my best guess. It was completely off and I ended up apologizing to the audience even though Ms Schulman’s number 1 rule in acting, besides the “Yes, and” rule in improv, was: Never Apologize to the Audience.

I still can hear the 5th graders laughing at me, even though I was older (and cooler) than them!

Anyways, yours was a much better retelling, and I’m excited for you to be here. Keep it up!

kurds June 24, 2020 8:43am

Good to see you, bud! What a fantastic story! Meanwhile in Lexington we were stuck with boring old Annie the musical. I really hope there is a recording or pictures of this somewhere!

Carseat June 21, 2020 9:25pm

I LOVE THIS!! The sitar-trumpet combo is incredible. So smooth and nice.

kurds June 24, 2020 8:43am

🙏🏾